wilmsteri's wonderblog xD

April 16, 2014 at 5:24am
83,890 notes
Reblogged from postllimit

actual-ironman-tonystark:

queerqueensansa:

postllimit:

mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something

my dad has literally called me by his own name. 

my mother has called me our cats name who has been dead for five years

multiple times

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:24am
70,367 notes
Reblogged from puertoricantwink

milliondollapussy:

I never act excited when someone who I really wanted to follow me follows me because it’s a sign of weakness

image

(Source: puertoricantwink, via yourslipsandslurs)

5:23am
169,744 notes
Reblogged from hatergrl

subtweet:

more tattoo artists need to just say “nah dude, i’m not doing that”

(Source: hatergrl, via yourslipsandslurs)

5:23am
240,174 notes
Reblogged from discontentramblings

schrodingersnerd:

everythingisnightvale:

discontentramblings:

An asexual and pansexual become room-mates and have wacky adventures

The show is called ‘All or Nothing’

Plot twist: the asexual is really super outgoing and is a huge flirt while the pansexual is extremely socially awkward and has trouble ordering coffee let alone getting a date.

image

my hand slipped

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:22am
79,583 notes
Reblogged from ermahgerdkerfer

suburban-auschwitz:

ermahgerdkerfer:

Damn, this girl was prepared.

Damn, I can’t even put the kids to bed on time

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:22am
114,794 notes
Reblogged from framesjanco

espybounce:

lepreas:

framesjanco:

wine tastes so bad. I’m convinced the whole world is in on an inside joke together trying to persuade me that wine tastes good to them. there’s no way any one can like the taste of it. it’s like bug spray. the whole frickin world pretends to like bug spray. I don’t understand why. stop the madness

wine is an acquired taste. if you don’t like it, acquire some taste

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:21am
356,034 notes
Reblogged from tumbledore-

theuppityzombie:

leviathans-in-the-tardis:

draconisblog:

tumbledore-:

The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.

At first I was all:

Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.

But then I was all like:

GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!

person annoying you?

refill their bladder

image

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:20am
25,678 notes
Reblogged from lilshit-stilinski

lilshit-stilinski:

when am I going to realize that no matter how many times I scream “no” at my tv the story line isn’t going to change.

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:19am
240,104 notes
Reblogged from baelor

baelor:

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

LIVE IN A HOUSE

(via yourslipsandslurs)

5:19am
86,569 notes
Reblogged from sarabibliomania

Student: I sprained my finger and can't play gym.
Teacher: okay.
Student: I have an anxiety disorder and can't do my speech in front of the class.
Teacher: Everybody gets nervous. Get up there.